Wednesday 15 September 2010

Nightmare

Everyone has nightmares. Some are forgotten, some are lifelong. I also have them quite often. Most of them I forget the very next day. But there is one I couldn't forget till now though it happened a long time ago when I was a kid. The very thought of those small yet horrible incidents haunt me even today.

"Hey, come on, lets play inside", he invited me to his home like any other day. I couldn't read his intentions at that time.

"Will you get me chocolates?", I innocently asked and declared,"Only then I'll come to play with you". I thought it was a genuine demand of a 7 years kid.

"Yes I do have. Come on, get in", he played his trick.

We used to play for hours together. At some times he was very caring while at times he behaved rude. I couldn't understand his volatile moods.

"Come here, sit on my lap", he would ask me and I'd do as directed.

I thought he loved me. At that time I couldn't distinguish between loving and love making. I thought I was playing with him. But it was him who was playing with me, my body. Though sometimes it felt something was going wrong but I couldn't offend. I could only wait till he was finished. I couldn't understand anything and used to keep a demure smile. I was more interested in the chocolates.

***

"Well, that's a case of pedophilia", my Psychiatrist told me when I finished describing my nightmare to her.

"Pedophilia?", I asked to clarify the term which was alien to me.

"Its the activity of having sexually involved with the children", she clarified.

I was shocked to know the fact that someone sexually harassed me in my childhood. "But how to overcome this nightmare now?", I asked angrily.

"Cool down, there is nothing to worry about now. It was just a phase of time that has passed a long time ago. All you need to do is that never think about those incidents. The more you'll think about it the more it will haunt you", she showed a genuine care and attention.

I walked back to the home and wished I never loved chocolates. I somehow get to know to overcome my nightmare.



P.S. - It is just a piece of fiction but a bitter reality in our society in which innocent children are sexually harassed by their neighbors, relatives or even their own family members. The child doesn't understand at first but never forgets when he does after some time. The nightmare follows to haunt him for the rest of his life.



Sunday 12 September 2010

Treat To My Followers

Here is a special treat to all my followers. Since I've started blogging, I've made very good friends here. Here are some friendship awards I've got from Bikram and now offering to all of you. So, if you're one of my followers, grab them all and take them as 'Thank You' notes. I'm really thankful to all of you for sharing beautiful relation of friendship with me.


I really wish our friendship go a long way, no matter we ever meet or not...


...If not, we never call each other stranger for we've known for so long now and will continue...


...and if we do, we meet like we've known each other since ages...


...In any case, we'll be friends forever and ever and ever, till the last breath, till the last beat, till the last moment, no matter we never meet.


And the below ones are from adreamygal. Thank you dreamy. These are also for all of you.

You're as sweet as honey...


...If only you're around, I don't need many...


...and I'm always there, whenever you need any.



Thursday 9 September 2010

The Innocence


"Can it change my luck?", she asked curiously pointing to one of the toys I was selling in the robust feast.

"Who told you this princess?", I asked.

"My Mom says, to change your luck you need to have a lucky charm", she replied with all her innocence,"so I'm finding one".

I smiled and gave it to her. She walked away smilingly. I knew it won't change anything, but then there are certain things which are priceless, like her little eyes carrying dreams of having living a life she deserves.

Sometimes the innocence wins everything.



Tuesday 7 September 2010

A Letter to Me - On My Birthday

Whole day long I was in office. Sitting in same old cabin, surrounded by same old files and papers scattered everywhere, dealing with same old clients and doing the same old work I never thought of doing someday. But I think every Chartered Accountant has a life like this. I came home frustrated like any other day. Opened the door of my apartment and suddenly saw a letter lying on the floor in a beautiful blue envelop. It was a surprise to get a letter after really a long time, almost a life. I quickly opened it up and started reading for I had no clue who will write me a letter and why?


Dear Deepak,
Happy Birthday.

You must be surprised to see my letter. You must have forgotten me by now. So I thought of reminding you that I exist, still. You are turned 25 today. But let me tell you one thing, with all the years changed with your age, you too have changed a lot. You are not that Deepak that I know since last 25 years.

Remember, you used to be very fun loving and full of life. Hope was the word that I used to describe you then. Everyone wanted to be in your company. You were the encouragement everyone needed. Whenever someone was feeling low, you were the one showing the hope. You never did any extraordinary stuff but still you were not what they call ordinary. People look upon me to find some hope when they don't get anywhere else. But you never felt like seeking my opinion in any matter. Even I knew you can handle anything that comes your way. Since all the past years, I have been watching you very closely. You never needed me and perhaps you don't know that I do exist, and that too very close. Today, I felt that you need me. So I am here.

As I told that I feel you have changed now. What happened? Are you not satisfied with the kind of life you are living? You have got everything what a normal human being needs to lead a healthy life. But you don't seem like leading the one. You probably don't know the reason. But I know. There is not one but many. First, you don't live your present. You always try to relive the past again and again. Past was beautiful, I know. But it has gone, accept it. Also you are more concerned about the future which doesn't exist at all. The moment which is in your hands right now is all you can count on. Live it fully so that you can make a better future and cherish a beautiful past when it is gone.

Second, you always fear. I would not say that you are coward but you fear a lot. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear in every sphere of life. Remember, fear is the most dangerous illusion known to mankind. Fear, like future, has no legs to stand on. All men and women of this beautiful world are creative in some way or the other. But they create nothing more than the fear which kills all the creativeness, Alas! Why to fear? Whom to fear from? If you fear of the things not got, they won't be going with you to the grave. If you fear of not getting accepted, its not your loss, its theirs who reject you. There is only one option you can choose from - fear or live. Both can't go hand in hand. If you choose fear then you will not live, you will only breathe. Choice is always yours, mind you.

You lose hope very now and then. I wonder you are the same kid that I had known for entire life. Whenever you lose hope and can't find anyone to look upon, turn to the nature. It is a great energy booster. Have a walk on the unknown path, get yourself lost in the woods, get drenched in the rain, see the birds chirping and playing together, breathe the air at the mountains. There are many more things you can do to charge yourself. Hope is the only candle with which the life can be enlightened. Keep it lit always.

But when nothing helps, look inside, I am always there to help you discover your true self.

With Love,
Your Heart.


As I read the signature at the end of letter, I was numb. Suddenly my eyes were opened up and my body was shaking. I wasn't holding any paper in my hands. It was about to dawn and chirping of birds ensured that it was going to be a beautiful morning. I realized it was a dream, an eye opener though.

But I was feeling more lively and hopeful than before. I got out of the bed and went to the balcony. The morning was never that exciting. I wished myself 'Happy Birthday' and prepared to start a new way of living. The hope I lost was hiding itself deep in my own heart.


P.S. - Today your friend has turned 25. It is quite a life I guess. This is my first birthday on the Blogsville. Hoping to celebrate many more to come with you. The letter above is fictional and the situations too. But I think it can relate to many of us. If it relates to you as well, please share.


Saturday 4 September 2010

Return



This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 14; the fourteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.



What would you return for?

Roses will still be the red,
rains will always be wet.
move on in life instead,
I don't mind what I get.

What would you return for?

Love will always be in air,
no matter I'm not there.
Birds will sing as they do,
Listen or not, up to you.

What would you return for?

Night will be dark like now,
stars will twinkle somehow.
Moon may seem more bright,
but don't worry, it's alright.

What would you return for?

If I mattered you wouldn't have left,
I wish your heart I wouldn't have theft.
But love doesn't knock the door,
now I realize, never did I before.

What would you return for?

Nothing will change for you dear,
to you, it doesn't matter far or near.
Everything will be as same as before,
Then, what would you return for?

What would you return for?

But one wish I still want to fulfill,
though you're moving in life uphill,
That someday you turn back and see,
I'm not where you wanted me to be.

I've moved on as well, for sure,
Now, what would you return for?




The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.


Thursday 2 September 2010

Tagged - Yet Another Time

My Blogger friend Zave, who blogs at here and here, have tagged me where I've to disclose 3 things in each of the sections mentioned in the tag. So, here goes my take on it.

3 places I would pack my travel bag for:
- Whole of India (I really want to see my land)
- Whole of the world (I've heard that it is worth seeing)
- Little bit of space walk too

3 on screen characters I love to watch:
- Aamir Khan in the movie '3 Idiots'
- Jerry in 'Tom & Jerry'
- Jack in the movie 'Titanic'

3 moods that describe me the best:
- Talkative (when I'm with friends)
- Quiet (when I'm low)
- Serious Boy (otherwise)

3 things I always think of doing on a weekend but never did:
- Studying (except for exams)
- Waking up early
- Not to sit before my computer

3 things from my childhood that I can't forget:
- Playing the marbles with other kids of the street
- Going to school (I loved it)
- Enjoying the life as it came

3 things I would never say no to:
- Going out with my friends
- Writing
- Believing in God

3 things I can't live without:
- Money (its not everything but its needed at every step)
- Hope
- Dreams


Now I'm to tag my friends, so here I go. I tag -
- Leo

Rules for the tag are:
- Tag as many friends as you want to
- Link their pages in your tag post
- Leave a comment that they are tagged
- Mention the friend who tagged you and link his/her blog


P.S. - The event I was talking about in my earlier posts has been postponed for some days. So now I can celebrate my birthday with no tensions on my mind or at least less tensions.

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