Wednesday 21 July 2010

The Bet

"I love you". My heart jumped out when it heard that proposal.

"Me too", I affirmed it to my dream girl.

And then later in the evening, that very heart felt like a victim when it heard,"I won the bet, my bait trapped him", she was counting her winning amount got from her friend.



P.S. - Tried to write 55 fiction after a long time and it is finished exactly in 55 words. Phew.

Also prompted at Three Word Wednesday

18 After Thoughts:

Leo said...

a very interesting twist indeed Deepak.. even my 55 fic for 3ww ended with 55 words, but then again, i always do end it with 55 words itself when i write one :)

Tweety said...

sigh... :( :( it just makes me sad..love isn't a game to play..

ThomG said...

A good tale in 55 words. I applaud you for the effort.

Zave said...

Love is no bet.
And if it is, winning love is also a loss sometimes!

Guddu said...

Hmmm.. Nice but sad...

Someone Is Special said...

Aww... I never expected this twist.. Well written, 55 Fiction is most powerrful type as it conveys messages with just 55..

Yours Frendly,
Saravana Kumar M

shail said...

Well expressed in 55 words.

Amity said...

Phew!! Poor victim...whatta bait!

I am enticed to write one 55 fiction!

keep sharing your thoughts, nice!

Sunakshi said...

Its wonderful.said all in just 55 words..

:)

adreamygal said...

Wonderful 55 fic Deepak ! Sadly thats not fiction for many , love is often a game played by others ..Lovely written , a lot good than your 1st 55 fic :)

and bdw I am bk to commenting ..Sorry for my long absence :)

Deepak said...

@ leo: thank u leo. and its a tough to end every 55 fiction in exactly 55 words :) only u can do it mate

@ tweety: thats true :(

@ ThomG: thank u sir :)

@ zave: well said my friend :)

@ guddu: thank u :)

Deepak said...

@ someone: thanks a lot. sometimes more can be conveyed in less than 55 words or even without speaking :)

@ shail: thanks :)

@ amity: thanks a lot :)

@ sunakshi: thank god it took only 55 :)

@ adreamygal: thank u dear. and u should better be sorry. i'm not going to forgive u that easy :) kidding

Anonymous Someone said...

Interesting twist.

Deepak said...

@ anonymous someone: thanks :)

Thomma Lyn said...

Excellent storytelling in this tiny tale. My heart goes out to the poor guy.

Deepak said...

@ thomma: thank u :)

Jay Thurston said...

Good one Deepak. I admit the end is sad, but you told quite a story in just 55 words.

Deepak said...

@ jay: thanks, I just tried to look it like a story, and I'm glad that it did :)

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