Monday, 3 May, 2010

Sorry I'm Helpless

"Well, I don't love you", she said in a low tone.

"Can you look into my eyes and repeat your words", I asked holding back my tears.

"You want to listen it again, why?"

"No, it's fine".

As I walked out, her eyes were still following me saying,"Sorry, I'm helpless Dear".

P.S. - First time tried to write a 55 fiction. I hope it's not that bad. And thank God the words didn't cross the limit of 55.

8 After Thoughts:

Zave said...

An effort which definitely didn't go in vain.
Keep writing!

Deepak said...

@ zave: thanx a lot brother. glad u liked it.

Anonymous said...

Thats a good first attempt ..but i vl tel u one thing ..try to write 55fic on something diff topics grabs attention faster ..telling this coz i m bad at 55fic ! :D

Deepak said...

@ adreamygal: well, thanks for the suggestion dear. i will definitely work on it.

Dr. Chandana Shekar said...

i liked it.. can get better. i haven written any 55 fiction. but yeah, felt cud get better. just a honest opinion

(¯`•._.•[Raajii]•._.•´¯) said...

aww... this is sad and touching. Love is way more complicated than we think it is. Sigh.

Good one :-)

chetna said...

i cnt evaluate u criticlly bczz i myslf s a bad writer bt ur imagntion s worth praising....:)
nd ths pic s awesum..i jst luv it...:):)

Deepak said...

@ Dr. Chandana: thanx a lot ma'm for ur honest opinion. I also think that it can get better with little more imagination and practice :-)

@ raajii: love is never so complicated as long as it is from both sides :-)

@ chetna: well, friends should be the first critics. it only confirms that you put ur time on evaluations. and time means life, u give ur part of life to ur friends :-) anyways thanx dear

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